Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Banana Belt

The last word on bananas has not yet been spoken, apparently. Not by a long shot. Thanks to Mage and Bill tipping me off, I Googled "Geostationary Banana Over Texas." Oh. My. God. In 0.16 seconds, I was faced with 29,100 hits, kablam! Go ahead, give it a shot. I double-dog dare ya.

You will find a few sites with great photos, the kind that make you appreciate the potential of Photo Shop and clever minds. What's fun, though, is to read the comment sections at some of these sites. The Big Banana has captured everyone's attention, for better or worse, and it's -- uhmm -- educational to read the different points of view.

Someone is probably already selling tee shirts emblazoned with floating bananas and slogans like Pecos Potassium or Ban the Banana. There will probably be a quickly written pop tune that will briefly rise and fall on the charts -- something along the lines of "Nana Got Run Over By a 'Naner." And you can bet the farm there will suddenly be frothy cocktails in Texas bars with banana in the name, like Banana Slammer. Might even be a dance, like the Monster Mash, only it'll be the Banana Bash.

The big thing, though, will probably be a software game, where you have to shoot bananas out of the sky before they turn brown, while dodging hordes of berserker fruit flies. If you lose, you have to eat the banana bread that comes wrapped with the software CD.

Martha Stewart can probably whip out a colorful cookbook of banana recipes. The cover will feature a tastefully displayed banana split made with banana slices cut out in the shape of Texas stars.

For the record, I'm convinced this is a huge leg pull. The various news articles seem to be playing it straight but there are instances of suspicious phrasing. And I have to question the "science" involved here. Doesn't matter. Whether it's for real or for fooling, it's a welcome respite in the daily news dose of pain and fury. Gives us something fun to focus on, even if it's only temporary.

On the other hand, I wonder how much money one could make if one published an e-book called, say, "The Lighter Than Air Banana Diet." Sure. It could work. A banana smoothie for breakfast. Banana salad for lunch. Mashed banana steak with a banana souffle for supper. Frozen banana on a stick for midnight snack. Banana daiquiris in between.

You're right. The idea is full of hot air. It'll never fly.

1 comment:

Mage said...

I love the fact that your imagination is working better than 90% of imaginations out there. You can take that banana and run with it. :)