Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Yes We Have No Bananas Today

Is it just me? I cannot possibly be the only person on the North American continent who thinks there is something really strange about this. Stay with me, here -- it gets tricky.

An Argentine-born artist named Cesar Saez, who now lives in Montreal, is going to build a 985-foot banana in Mexico and float it over Texas. Have we hit enough geographic points yet? The banana will be built of bamboo and synthetic paper, filled with helium and sailed 12 to 18 miles above the Lone Star state until it disintegrates in approximately one month. Will anyone be surprised to learn the tab for this airborne art cha-chings at about $1 million Canadian dollars, some of which has already been raised? Including "small amounts" contributed by the Federal and Quebec governments.

Saez is quoted as saying, "Why? Because it's possible. Why not a banana over Texas?"

That lame explanation would only have worked if Kinky Friedman had pulled off his bid for governor. In that event, a whole floating fruit salad -- with croƻtons and walnuts -- would have seemed normal. As it is, if the Texas Air National Guard doesn't shoot it down, it will certainly provide the late night talk show hosts with a few jokes. "Pssst! Mr. Bush. Your banana is showing." Well, at least vice-president Cheney won't get in on it. Bananas don't resemble either quail or lawyers.

And what if the banana gets caught in the jet stream and sails into the air space of another country? How embarrassing would it be for the heads of state to get on the red phones and complain? "Listen, your --uh-- your banana is an aviation hazard." Does that sound like a responsible person to you? Wouldn't you, yourself, feel a bit silly if you had to speak that line seriously? Could you say it without snorting coffee through your nose?

For that matter, to whom would one complain? Does the banana belong to the artist? To Canada? Does Mexico own shares in it? Or does its encroachment into U.S. air space make it our property?

I'll tell you the truth. I think Governor Schwarzsenegger has something to do with this. California has been fighting fruit flies forever. You can figure a banana that size will attract every living fruit fly on the whole flipping continent. And when the banana disintegrates, where are all those flies gonna fall, huh? Tell me that. Heck, after a month, the banana might even be hanging over Florida. How's that for messing with the competition?

I'm just waiting for the Political Correctness Cops to get wind of this. I'll bet you there is going to be something non-pc about flaunting a banana instead of some leafy green vegetable or maybe even a monster spiral cut ham. In the latter case, it would at least prove pigs really can fly.


Anonymous said...

Bwah-ha-ha!!! I'll bet CNN's Anderson Cooper would have a hayday with this and his "keeping them honest" program. Our fed. govt putting $ towards THIS???? Oh my....


Dee said...

Nah, Glo, not *our* feds -- it's their feds. It's my understanding Canadians refer to their government, in general, as the Federal Government, but they also refer to the different provincial governments (such as Quebec). Anyway, our feds are already over-extended on the toilet seats, aren't they?

Bill said...

Not a very a-peeling image unless the artist is trying to point out that not all banana republics are in the south. By their fruits ye shall know them.

Mage said...

First of all, I see you are getting the hang of Blogger. Your pages are looking positively professional. :)

Yes, I think that bannana is great fun. Did you see the graphics on bldgblog? Since I refuse to take this seriously, all I can be is delighted by it all.

Stay warm and dry and have a great day.

Dee said...

Good morning, everyone! Bill, you want to warn me in the future? I almost snorted coffee on the keyboard. (grin) Mage, I see you noticed I've been fiddling with options again. Great fun. But who, or what, is bldgblog? Signed, Mystified in the Morning

Bill said...


I should suppress the urge to answer someone else's questions, but dammit I'm a librarian.