Friday, May 11, 2007

Faux Brioche

Hello. My name is Dee and I'm a breadoholic.

Okay. Let's not pretty it up. I'm a hot bread slut. Yes. Can't seem to help myself. Just look at this picture. What you don't see is the slice I scored right after taking the photo. I could show you that, too, except I already ate it all up ... and loved every bite. Unadorned. Bare, nekkid, nude. Good stuff, Maynard.

Oh. I just re-read that last paragraph. It was the bread that was bare, nekkid, nude, not me. Okay? We're into sublime food, not Fright Night.

You understand, I wasn't going to oppress you with yet another bread recipe. Really, I wasn't. I was just going to whup up something to do justice to my newfound skill at producing luscious homemade mayonnaise. Yeah. Right. You know how one thing leads to another ...

Well, I stumbled across this recipe for brioche. Okay, it's a sort of easy-peasy brioche. I've never done it before and from what I've been reading, those who have seem to consider this variety of bread on the same plane as religious epiphanies. That works for me. I'm fairly religious about food. I can identify.

The thing about brioche is that it's egg- and butter-rich. And I got to thinking that the mayo is something like 95 % fat and what would happen if I substituted mayo for butter? I can't say my measurements were precise but when I plopped all the ingredients in the bread machine pan, there was roughly a half-cup of freshly homemade mayo in the mix.

The recipe goes like this: in the bread machine, place 1 cup milk, 2 tablespoons sugar, 1/2 cup mayo, 1 egg, 1 teaspoon salt, 3 cups flour and 1 tablespoon yeast. Run it through on the dough cycle, then turn out into greased pan, pat down and let rise again. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes. Before baking, you can brush dough with an egg wash to give it a glossy, dark brown finish but I'm low on eggs and decided to pass on that touch.

Now, you can get fancy and turn out more or less authentic brioche thingies in their little fluted pans with the little round top knot. I don't happen to have the pans and the top knot would just get me into trouble because I'd be trying to see if I could spit it into a target bowl or something. I have no couth. I admit it. But if you are more refined, please feel free to expand your culinary horizons with this wonderful bread. You could even use butter instead of mayo but I'll bet it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

I have to leave you now. It's time to build a brioche sammich -- involving homemade mayo, of course. Yes. More bliss.


Dee said...

Just testing. John tipped me off that the Comments link had gone AWOL. Turns out a setting had switched itself off, deciding, apparently, it didn't want to go to work today. All seems to be properly in place now. Carry on, folks!

bb said...

Well I'll just scoot to the sidebar here and click the Amazon thingy and find out what Blinded by the Sunlight happens to be. You just chomp away and I'll salviate. (sp)

Jo said...

Hey, Dee, My name is Jo and I'm a breadaholic, too. You made me so laugh this morning.

Never apologize for your plethora of bread recipes, dear. Bread is the staff of life, or stuff of life, or something like that.

Mage said...

Oh No.......I who am on Weight Watchers salute you. I don't think I even dare to read you as I will gain twenty pounds. Just looking at the page I gained three. It has to be the homemade mayo. Oh goodness.


Ava said...

Okey dokey. I love bread too and anything that can be spread on it, jammed between two thick slices, or just grabbed in all it's goodness all by it's lonesome.

I have one problem and want to know if you have the answer for me.

How do I consume this lovely stuff and not be the winner of the fattest gal in Texas contest?

I remember as a kid going to a local bakery at night as all of us piled in someone's car and then cruisin' around eating warm bread that the bakery GAVE to us. Talk about a lovely perfume in that car.


Dee said...

Aww gee, ladies, I feel your pain. The calorie problem cannot be ignored, of course. My expanding middle anatomy can attest to that. (sigh) I can only say that if we want to enjoy the fruit of the grain, we have to attend to the quantity consumed and we have to be willing to share generously. The more of a loaf our friends and loved ones eat, the less of it will end up on our thighs. Right?

John Bailey said...

I missed out on the comments so I'll share a little recipe to go with brioche. Take a small piece of soft, ripe brie. Add a finely chopped spring onion [you call them scallions or something] ora handful of chives, chopped. A healthy dollop of mayo. A little fresh ground black pepper. Then, bash it about a bit, not to blend, but to mix. Spoon and spread on the brioche or serve on the side. If you use enough mayo, it'll do as a very nice dip for any good bread.

Remember Dee's rule: Share.

Dee said...

Ohhhhh, John! That sounds glorious. Guess what I'm adding to my shopping list. Heck, haven't had any brie in ages. It's about time, right? Thanks for the excellent recipe!