You think I'm joking. You think that tree is just an innocent bystander. Well, maybe that one is but one can't be too sure.
I don't want you to misunderstand. I happen to love trees. All trees. Really. But I just learned that trees can be kidnapped and forced to participate in a sordid life of crime. That's just unconscionable. If you can't trust a tree, what can you trust?
It happened Saturday in Manchester, New Hampshire, when (I'm not making this up!) a fellow disguised as a tree robbed a (ahem) branch bank of an undisclosed amount of cash and escaped. As it happens, the bank possesses surveillance cameras of high quality. If you go to this page, you can read the brief article and click on the video link. It shows a frame from the surveillance tape, with a culprit who seems to believe he cannot be recognized because he has a few leafy branches duct-taped to his head. Perhaps he left that much clearance so he could see to drive the getaway car. In any case, it didn't take long for someone to recognize him and he was arrested the next day.
It was not mentioned in the article exactly what kind of tree the impostor was pretending to be. Looks a bit like maple. Or oak? I don't suppose it really matters unless they need to have a lineup. It's doubtful anybody would want to be in that lineup. Can you imagine how much hair is going to be painfully ripped out when the duct tape is removed?
You will note I am restraining myself from making all the obvious puns. Besides, police Sgt. Ernie Goodno got the best one when he said the robber, "...really went out on a limb." I will only point out the bank is located on North Elm Street.
[The lovely tree photo was taken by Ian Britton and came from FreeFoto.com.]