Monday, September 7, 2009

In Transit


Those are such small, innocent-looking words, aren't they? In transit. Who would have thunk they could engender such roiling, boiling impatience in a person. But here I am, roiling and boiling, trying to keep the lid on my fidgets and fiddles, all because there are a couple of In transit situations on my calendar as we speak.

Like, fer instance, my brother and his wife are driving out from Illinois this year. Talked to them on the phone today and they were somewhere in Wyoming. They figured to spend the night near the Utah border and keep on keepin' on tomorrow. The ETA is Thursday.

They are IN TRANSIT.

Then there is the other item. I have been waiting -- quite patiently, in fact -- and saving so I could treat myself to a handy-dandy food processor. It's not something I need but it is definitely something I want. Did all kinds of research and then kept track of fluctuating prices and "best deals" and, finally -- when I least expected it, of course -- my targeted KitchenAid 750 went on sale. Woohoo! I had to make a temporary loan with daughter Patti and SIL Roger because the sale was going to be over before my monthly SS came in. Then, when we had that all arranged, the particular color I was going for was already sold out. Well, shucky-darn. The next best price up was only $13.00 more so I said, "Hah! I can do this," and I did. They shipped my baby out at 7:10 pm from Goodyear, Arizona Saturday.

From the moment I got that notice, my patience disappeared and I've been agitating ever since. Every day -- even though by now I know better -- I go to the page where you're supposed to be able to track your package, courtesy of the United States Postal Service. And it's true. I can do that. Sort of. Their idea of tracking and my idea of tracking do not make a perfect match.

Do they give me a blow-by-blow as the little guy wends his way to me? No, they do not. They tell me the estimated delivery date is Monday, September 14th. They tell me "Status: In transit." That's all the tracking I'm going to get. Now where's the fun in that?

There is an undeniable thrill one can enjoy when one is able to vicariously make the trip with the expected package. You can measure in your mind's eye each increment that inches tantalizingly closer every day. There is something about that kind of detailed tracking that helps the wait go faster.

It keeps you from raking long, wicked gashes in the walls with your fingernails.

It enables you to curb the incessant muttering and the sporadic howling is almost eliminated.

The twitching is easier to control so folks don't even know you're doing it unless they look close to see why you're slapping yourself.

Does the United States Postal Service care? I guess not. If they did, they'd be willing to inform me of interesting details like, maybe, the mail truck paused briefly at Gila Bend or Burro Butt and is tooling its way through the desert toward, oh, say Palm Springs or even Wendover. They would tell me neither sleet nor snow nor desert sand storm would stay the steady course of my trusty mail carrier truck/train/plane/person. They would include me in the fun, the excitement, the romance.

Oh. Excuse me. (Twitch. Slap!) I didn't mean to start howling again. Sometimes it just comes over me, you know? I'm going to "woman up" now and try to maintain my dignity until this coming Monday. I'm counting on Merle and Linda to distract me when they arrive Thursday. I'm sure they will make the final few days of the Other In Transit go much faster.

In the meantime, I'm going to wander into the kitchen and enhance my sacred coffee with some golden nectar. I might lay in one more casual swipe of gashes if I can find a section of wall I haven't already shredded but I think the worst of it is over now. Except for the snarling -- but I do that very softly.


John Bailey said...

Howling is good. Gets it out of your system. Altogether now... ArrOooooooow! :-)

bonnie said...

I had a food processor for a couple days and took it back to walmart. I have no counter space and no storage in my kitchen so I didn't search for a better one.

With my experience with the postal service I hope they don't drop kick yours too much. :-)

Say I did an entry yesterday I thought was funny. Guess you have to be a woman to really appreciate it.

Dee said...

So true, John. Howling is marvelous for releasing tension. Unfortunately, it seems to create tension in those close enough to hear you howl. They tend to back away, slowly and alertly. (sigh) Too many werewolf movies, I guess.

Bonnie, you made an important point. If the appliance isn't easily accessible, it isn't going to get used. I have a spot picked out for the little guy when he arrives, right by the sink for easy cleanup.

Yes, I saw your Bombeck piece. I miss her. The woman was always a joy to read.

kate et jim said...

Ooooooo - you're going to be so happy, Dee! Now I see you're getting the 750. I just looked and mine is the 740. Hummm - I wonder what the difference is? Is yours the 12 cup? I do see that you have a black lid on the feed tube, mine doesn't.

Are you gonna go and make me jealous that I didn't opt for the 750? lol.

So happy for you that your family is coming to visit!

The Old Guy said...

Give whirled peas a chance, Dee.

kate et jim said...

LOL @ 'The Old Guy'! :D